Carrie Maldonado – Writer

Freelance writer, wordsmith, and novelist

As I write this, I am in fear of what next week will look like.  It doesn’t really matter why.  The point is I am spending a lot of mental time and energy imaging an unsatisfactory life change that I think will be unpleasant for me and my family, and that is also, in my mind, unavoidable.  Like my characters, I can make Mount Kilimanjaro out of a pile of sand and if I’m not careful, I can feel myself edging into full on panic.  This is one of those times when having a good imagination is not serving me well.  Pretty soon I am staying up at night working out my part in conversations that haven’t happened yet (and may not ever happen) and making contingency plans for my contingency plans.   Yes, I do know that this is crossing into insanity.   I also know that I’m not alone in wanting to know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow or next week, as though somehow I can make everything be okay IF I JUST KNOW.  I guess that’s why I like writing so much – I DO get to know when I’m the one in charge and in life I just have to go on faith that it will work out all right in the end.  The nice thing is I get to choose what I believe today and I get to override fear with the faith button.  It’s a lot messier and scarier than writing fiction, that’s for sure.  The reality is that nobody is guaranteed tomorrow anyway, and definitely not a stress free tomorrow.  On the other hand, I saw a sign the other day that said “I’m planning on living forever…so far, so good.”  Works for me!

 

Post Script:  So I wrote this three weeks ago but didn’t post it until now, because I wanted to see what would happen.  As it turns out, the change was not as bad as I’d feared in some ways and much, much worse in others.  And I still don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow!Uncertainty

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One thought on “What’s going to happen tomorrow?

  1. Lisa DG says:

    One of my fave features about the stories you write is that I never know what’s going to happen next and am glad I do not–it’d be boring if your characters and their plots could be anticipated. And because I also know you on a personal level I can observe that you don’t do ‘boring’. This next season of your life is just a non-boring gift in unusual wrapping, and you have a great crowd of witnesses around you as it unwraps.

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